My Child Has Down Syndrome – What I Would Tell Every Parent

In this deeply personal and heartfelt episode of The Right Side, Doug Billings shares the full story of raising his son Michael, who has Down syndrome (Trisomy 21).

From the overwhelming fear and questions in the hospital after Michael’s diagnosis, to the incredible joy and blessings he has brought over the past 24 years, Doug offers hope and truth to every parent who has received — or may one day receive — a Down syndrome diagnosis.

This episode was inspired by the recent announcement from YouTubers Jesse Ridgway and his wife, who chose to abort their baby after a prenatal Down syndrome diagnosis, and Lila Rose’s powerful response on Fox & Friends.

Doug explains why he calls the extra 21st chromosome “the Divine Chromosome” and why, if given the choice today, he would not change Michael’s diagnosis.

This is a message of hope, love, and truth for families — one that challenges the culture of death and celebrates the beauty and value of every life.

If you or someone you love has faced this diagnosis, this episode is for you.

God bless you and your family.

to see the video version of this episode, click here: https://youtu.be/zcDuAxHcDtI

#DownSyndrome #DivineChromosome #ProLife #ChooseLife #SpecialNeeds #DownSyndromeAwareness #Parenting #Fatherhood #Faith #ChristianTestimony #LifeIsBeautiful #Trisomy21

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:11

Hello, America. Hello, world. Welcome to the set of my show, The Right Side. Doug Buildings here with you, and I want to talk to you about something that's been very close to my own heart. A personal story, really, about a story that I heard about over the weekend. Two YouTubers, Jesse Ridgway and his wife, recently announced online that they've aborted their baby. And they did that after receiving a prenatal diagnosis of Down syndrome. So I've got a lot of thoughts about this. Like I said, it hits home personally for me. I saw uh that Lila Rose, the founder of Live Action, responded strongly on national television over the weekend. She called out the decision, uh, reminding people that children with Down syndrome are precious, they're valuable, they're capable of living meaningful lives. And when I heard the story, it hit me hard because I have a son who has Down syndrome. His name's Michael, and he'll turn 24 this September. But before I share Michael's story, I want to say this. I'm incredibly proud of both of my sons. I have received tremendous untold blessing from each of them in different ways, and I thank God every day for the gift of being their dad. Today I want to share our story with you, not to shame anybody, but to offer hope and truth and a perspective that you just don't hear in most places these days. When my son Michael was born, we we had no idea that he had Down syndrome. We had all of the usual tests and everything. They all came back fine. So this all came as a complete surprise. And in those first few days, my mind, I mean, it raced. I had a million, it seemed like a million things go through it. I'm sure multiple dozens of questions. Every single one of them circled back to the same kind of fear. Um, and it was a selfish fear. Can I handle this? You know, is he gonna live? Can I handle this? Is he gonna have a meaningful life? Can I handle this? Will he go to school? Will he have friends? Will he graduate? Will he have a girlfriend? Will he ever get a job? Will he be happy? Can I handle this? The next question, that that selfish question, can I handle this? It just repeated and repeated after all of those other practical questions came into my mind. I was scared, I was overwhelmed. I like many parents in that kind of a moment, I was focused on myself, on whether I had, you know, what it took to raise a child with special needs. And, you know, as a kid, I never saw a kid with Down syndrome when I was in grade school. They were always sequestered away and they weren't included. There was no inclusion of these kids, at least when I was in school, where I went to school. So after a few days, um, you know, after after Michael's birth, the hospital social workers arranged several parents of young children with Down syndrome to come visit us. Now, Michael had a heart issue when he was born, which is typical among these kids for down with Down syndrome. It's a it's a heart situation that can be fixed, and they did. Six months into his life, they hit he had open heart surgery and they fixed a de uh a malfunctioning valve in his heart. I can tell you that the operation was much more difficult on me than it was on him. But the hospital brang in the these parents and and who had children with Down syndrome, these toddlers, and I'll never forget seeing these kids run into the hospital room. Michael spent the first four weeks, maybe it was six weeks, of his life in the NICU, the neonatal intensive care unit at Overland Park Regional Hospital where he was born. And the great people over there, great staff. And back at the time, there was a group called the Down Syndrome Guild of Greater Kansas City. They were the people that were responsible for bringing in these parents and the kids who had um who had Downs. They were beautiful kids. They were happy, loving, clearly thriving within their own families. And for the first time, I started to feel something shift inside of me. I began to feel hope rise within me just a few days after I was really devastated, wondering if I could handle this. And I started to see that, you know, Down syndrome wasn't just a diagnosis, it was a life. And it represents a real, valuable, meaningful life. And I began to experience what I later began to describe as the dawning of blessing. And I started to realize that Michael had a purpose and that his life was going to matter. Fast forward almost 24 years, okay, every single one of those questions that raced through my head in the hospital, the moment I heard the news that Michael might have signs and symptoms of Down syndrome, I can tell you that every single one of them has been answered with a clear and confident yes. Yes, he's gonna live. Yes, he lives with joy and wonder and meaning. Yes, he went to school and graduated. Yes, he played sports. Yes, he has friends, yes, he has a job, yes, he has a girlfriend, yes, he loves his life. And yes, I can handle that. And you know what's most beautiful about all of this? Michael's life is almost none of the venom, the bitterness, the prejudices, or the hopelessness that so many of the typical kids and adults carry around with them every single day. Michael and these children, all of them who have Down syndrome, they they see the good in people. They find joy in the simple, they love without condition. And it wasn't long after Michael was born that I began to call that extra 21st chromosome. Trisomy 21 is the official name of Down syndrome. It means they have an extra 21st chromosome. I began to call that chromosome the divine chromosome. Because when it removes the pride, the judgment, the constant striving, you know, the venom, the prejudices, often the things that get in the way of seeing life really clearly, that's what it does. That's what this little divine chromosome does. And so Michael's taught me more about love and about patience, acceptance, and the true meaning of life than almost anyone else I've ever met. So the meaning of life for me, you know, is obviously establishing a relationship with God. But also the meaning of life, in my opinion, is, you know, the what, you know, the question of why am I born? Why am I here? The meaning of life. Why, what's the meaning of all of this? Well, the meaning of life, in a way, is that we are called to enter into the lives of others to make differences for the better. We are called to enter into the lives of others to make differences for the better. And Michael does that every single day. I've watched it. I've watched it happen. And I want to be clear about, you know, the fact that I'm proud of both of my sons. Grant, my oldest, he's 33, living a wonderful life with his wife, Caitlin. He's brought me a lot of joy, a lot of pride. I'm very proud of him. I received blessings from both of my sons in different ways, but both are deep and meaningful examples of my fatherhood. And being their dad is one of the greatest honors of my life. And I want to say something that might surprise some of you. If God were to come down right now today and say, hey, Doug, hey, if you want me to, I'll take away Michael's Down syndrome and make him a typical kid. Folks, I'd get down on my knees, thank the Lord, and I would kindly decline his offer. I'd tell him that Michael's perfect just the way he's been created. Thank you, Lord. But look what you've done here. You've made him perfect just like he is. That might sound strange to some people, but after 24 years of living with this incredible young man with the divine chromosome, I can tell you with complete honesty, his life has been one of the greatest blessings that I and others who know him, including his brother Grant, have ever received. And this is why stories like the one that I heard about Jesse Ridgway and his wife aborting their baby, who was, you know, they were several months into a pregnancy. It just breaks my heart. Because when parents receive a prenatal diagnosis of Down syndrome, the Ridgways aren't alone. The vast majority of people choose to abort those babies. It's tragic. I mean, they're told that the child's going to be a burden, that their life is going to be limited, and that it'll be just too difficult, too hard. But that's a lie, ladies and gentlemen. It's a lie. The truth is that children with Down syndrome bring something rare and beautiful into the world. And they've often got a capacity for so much love and joy and acceptance that many of us, you know, typical people have lost. And in today's world, medical science has made it, you know, a lot of progress. Life expectancy for these people is now about 60 years old. Quality of life has improved dramatically, better health care, education, and what I was lacking when I didn't see when I was a kid, inclusion. These kids are included in the school classroom throughout their time in school. So these are not lives that are examples of people who are suffering. They're lives of meaning and they're lives of connection. There are lives of extraordinary happiness if you just let the life happen. When we abort these children, we're not just ending a pregnancy, we're ending a life that would have been brought that would have brought light and love and perspective and certain contexts into the world. And oftentimes in ways that we can't even imagine at the time of that diagnosis that causes so much anxiety. And I don't blame people for being anxious about that news. That that what I experienced with all of those questions, that was anxiety. Can I handle this? What's happening here? So I get it. And if you're watching this and if you've received a prenatal diagnosis of Down syndrome, or if you know somebody who has, I want to hear from you. I want to make sure that you know you're not alone. You can handle this. And your child's life is going to be a lot more beautiful than you can possibly imagine right now. The fear that you're feeling is real if you've been presented with this news, but it's not the full story. There's hope on the other side of that fear. And there's joy, there's meaning, and there's love that is going to change you in ways that you've never expected. You're going to look back in time, I promise. Through this experience, if you've been diagnosed with a prenatal down syndrome baby, you're going to look back years later and you're going to think, I've got a pack of blessings on my back. A pack of blessings. Folks, I'm speaking from experience. Twour years ago, I was terrified. Today, I thank God every day for the gift of both of my sons, Grant and Michael, and for the unique ways that each of them has blessed my life. We're in this life together, we're in this world together. Let's help each other out when it comes to things like this. You have so much to look forward to. If you or somebody you know has been diagnosed with a baby who's going to have Down syndrome, I want to thank you for watching this. Share it with people who might need to hear the message. There's so much more that we could say that's so much hopeful. If this has encouraged you in any way, share it. Because these kinds of stories matter. And if you're a parent walking through this right now, I want you to know that there's hope. There is community and there is beauty ahead of you. You are in a good spot, even if you can't see that right now. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, God bless you. God bless your families. Again, if this video video touched you, uh drop a comment. Let me know. I read almost every one of them. And please prayerfully consider heading over to my website, dugbillings.us, to set up a monthly recurring contribution over there so that we can continue the show and to spread good news like this. The right side of hope. We're in this together, ladies and gentlemen. Believe it for each other. Cheers.